How We Met: Sarah taught me how to play guitar when I was 15.
Interesting Facts: Not only is Sarah a virtuoso at every instrument she picks up, but she also dances hip hop like no one’s business.
Project Valentine’s Day
Sarah’s got the goods; she could be wearing a burlap sack and still snatch-up a Rolodex full of numbers. Sarah suggested we go cruise the single’s scene on Valentine’s Day and hunt us down some fine, young, eligible bachelors to go write home about. Since the only thing that ever turns me on lately is Gloria Steinem, I figured it was high time I step up my game and see exactly how Sarah works her charm. Our evening began with a quiet dinner at Yaffa Cafe so we could catch-up and hatch out our ultimate scheme. We spent the first part of dinner comparing our ailments (we were both still recovering from a nasty flu bug—not helpful in the flirt game). We ranted about our symptoms and treatments for almost forty minutes before I realized how very un-sexy our conversation sounded. We agreed that if we were going to succeed in our mission, we needed to perk up and put on our best game faces. So with a brush of fresh lipstick and a twinkle in our eyes, we began our assignment, Project Valentine’s Day.
A Couple of Silly Girls
Settling Into Our Roles
Time to Get Serious
Fixing-Up
An Irish Pub & Ice Cream Cones
Sarah and I scouted out a couple of empty bars before catching sight of McSorley’s, an Irish pub bustling with life and illuminated by the soft neon glow of beer signs and flat screen TV’s. Eureka— A sports bar! While ordering our drinks, Sarah immediately spotted our first catch, an attractive but simple man sitting alone at the end of the bar enjoying the game. Sarah, knowing little-to-nothing about sports, turned to him and asked, “Who’s playing?” I scoffed aloud thinking how ridiculous this approach was, especially considering how much I loathe sports. Well lo and behold, not only did our new friend Jeff tell us who was playing, but within five minutes we also found out that he was a glass cutter who travels all over the U.S. building structures and was supposed to go to Alaska to build a log cabin (hot). Who knew it was so simple? Jeff who’s also a social smoker (score!), invited us to share a smoke outside. Jeff seemed to take an immediate interest in yours truly, so before parting ways, we made frivolous plans to share another smoke in the near future. We said our good-byes and began phase II of our mission… but not before satisfying our sweet tooth at the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop.
Neon Angel
Score!
Big Gay Ice Cream Break
Mmmm
Lounging at Lit
We arrived at Lit Lounge, and much to our amusement we found it to be just like a high school dance (except with strippers); boys on one side of the bar, girls were on the other. I excused myself to the ladies’ room to freshen my lips and returned to find that Sarah had already scooped up the two super cute boys sitting next to us. Franck, a drummer for a popular French Band Hushpuppies, and J.B. a street photographer, were visiting from Paris, and Sarah was speaking their language…literally. While Franck and Sarah exchanged words, I inquired with J.B. about his photography. Come to find out, he was here working on a photo exhibition of New York City for a reception that will be opening in Paris this March. J.B. also primarily shoots with film, just like me, and although our some of our conversation was lost in translation, photographically we were a couple of kindred spirits. After downing a couple of drinks, we decided to take these boys to Beauty Bar for one last call.
POW!
Direct Hit!
J.B.’s Shy Heart
Wild at Heart
Beauty Bar and Beyond
Beauty Bar was dead but still a goldmine for photo opps with their sparkly retro hair dryer chairs and linoleum floor. I ordered another drink at the bar while Sarah and the Frenchies checked out all the glory Beauty Bar had to offer. The bartender at times seemed annoyed with my (bad) jokes, but started chiming in with his own display of lousy humor. Surly one moment, then engaging the next, he was a hard nut to crack. We began to argue about Valentine’s Day because he, like most cynics, hated this Hallmark Holiday. I, on the other hand, don’t see how it’s different than Christmas or Halloween, and feel that all holidays are just shopping incentives that prey upon people’s expectations. He then confessed that his girlfriend (Bingo! This explains the bi-polar behavior) pressured him to make this Valentine’s Day romantic, but he had to work and that created trouble in paradise. I then posed a philosophical question of whether the root of the problem was inherent in the holiday itself or the girlfriend. Before I got myself into trouble, Sarah and the Frenchmen returned from their excursion and joined me at the bar. I asked J.B. to snap a quick photo of me and the bartender, who was willingly unwilling to pose with me and my ripped-up heart. Fearful of his super jealous Latin girlfriend, the remorseful bartender covered his face as I had my way with him.
Brawn vs. Beauty
Guilty Heart
The Conclusion
Sarah, being the crafty little devil she is, managed to score herself a lunch date with the Frenchmen cause she’s got the goods. I, however, still have not heard from the glass cutter; I’d like to think that he accidentally lost my card. I did however receive a “Holla” from Paris (story of my life). Now if only us girls can teach these boys how to holla back when they are near…and not far, then things could actually start to get interesting.
Valentine’s day gets a bad rap because of the pressure people invest into feeling something special on one particular day; its shallowness can be surmised from glancing at any drug store greeting card. However, in the right company and armed with a sensible attitude, Valentine’s Day can be a loads of fun. What other day of the year can a couple of gals run around town handing out glitter hearts to boys in bars without coming across desperate or outlandish? Besides, love manifests itself in many forms and the love of a good friend is just as good a reason to celebrate Valentine’s day as that of a lover. Sarah recently told me that she looks forward to growing old with me—now that’s what I call love, and on this Valentine’s Day, I found myself falling in love with Sarah again for the 100th time.
Far enough from the city but close to my heart, Far Rockaway Beach was our poor man’s retreat. We escaped every weekend, rain or shine, and acted like shipwrecked Bohemians, sipping boxed wine and sharing hand-rolled smokes. We were glamorous castaways, clad in straw hats, bold prints, red lips, and vintage shades. Deliberately stranded, we imagined ourselves on a remote island, abundant in fish tacos, fresh coco water, and endless rolls of film. Sometimes you don’t have to travel great distances to go far. Aloha Far Rockaway, see you soon!
Vito planned a swanky yet simple evening for us in Bed-Stuy including dinner, drinks, and then back to his place for a jam session. I suggested we try “jamming-out” on a second date, but you can’t blame a guy for trying. Do or Dine, Bed-Stuy’s hippest diner, was just perfect with it’s charming retro-discotheque ambiance, for Vito was dressed sharp and fully accessorized with a handsome Fedora (“Attention to Detail” bonus points). Upon meeting at the bar, in one swift gesture, Vito slid my bar stool close to his while ordering me a drink (“My Man” bonus points). Vito is so charming that the bar sent us both a glass of Cognac, coated in pine cordial and garnished with an orange twist (bonus points). When dining out, I just love to share a meal and try as much on the menu as possible. However, Vito earned himself some major “Food Incompatibility” deduction points for not eating pork or fois gras, thus eliminating the two most exciting menu choices (E666′s deviled eggs and the Foie Gras Doughnut). I often photograph drunk people, and Vito’s job is keeping his customers wet, so, while sipping our Cognacs, (ironically enough), we bonded over our mutual fascination with the damaging effects of alcohol culture. We swapped drunken tales garnered during our “research,” and laughed at the hypocrisy of our very own participation in them. We were having great conversations, and by the time my Chicken and Woffals arrived, I had already forgiven Vito for not ordering the Fois Gras Doughnut.
Do Play with your Utensils
The Hat Makes The (Wo)Man.
Loving that Cognac
Bon Appetit!
One Last Shag…
Vito and I really let our hair down at One Last Shag… and ordered a couple of hot toddys. Unfortunately, I was coming down with a cold, but was determined not to disappoint Vito and spoil our evening with my dumb ailments. We warmed-up over our hot, steaming glasses while Vito told me about his family farm in Florida. He’s been researching a lot about agriculture and he is on his way to becoming a bonafide farmer. I am not sure what it is about Vito, but apparently people love to give him gifts. While at the bar, a couple next to us decided to adorn us with Pre-Valentine’s presents. I got a snoopy lip balm (for making-out later) and Vito was given a Star Wars yo-yo. Damn if he hasn’t charmed all of Bed-Stuy AND the East Village. Inspired by our new gifts, Vito and I hijacked One Last Shag and photographed each other in every kitschy nook and corner of the bar, while the puzzled bar staff watched skeptically. What I really like about Vito is that not only is he cool, but he’s really kool, and doesn’t mind getting silly (a.k.a. sitting on the linoleum floor for a photograph), and having fun. As our glasses began to cool, it was a sure sign that our evening was winding down. Being the courteous gentlemen he is, Vito offered to walk me home so as to protect me from the night (“Chivalry” bonus points).
Bed-Stuy Dapper
Linoleum Floor Photo-Opp
“You Must Accept Our Gifts!”
Gifts Accepted.
Vito Loves Plants.
Demonstrating Domestic Street Skills
The Conclusion
Pros: Has great attention to detail, is a smooth operator and is super laid back.
Cons: Doesn’t eat bacon (or fois gras), is moving to Florida next month, and has bar hours.
Vito is a classy guy who knows how to treat a lady AND how to make her a proper drink. Raised-up as a good old southern boy, Vito has excellent manners and exercises just the right touch of chivalry, without being overbearing or too polite. Unfortunately, just as I am getting to know Vito, he will soon be relocating to sunny Florida to start his new life. However, we do have one last hurrah planned in Bed-stuy at Sud, a small Italian wine bar where we plan to share a cheese plate, listen to Pavarotti and perhaps… even a jam session.
